Wired up to sleep.

Inabot nanaman ako ng liwanag at gising pa ako.

Actually, this is already the 2nd day that I’m like this. Obviously I still have enough energy as I am still able to write something and for the first time, using a mobile device (Cue in canned applause). I only use WP mobile if I want to catch up on blogs I follow but since I am trying my very best to catch that elusive sleep, I’ll resign in using this than getting up and do a tap tap away on my laptop.

Situations have happened that resulted in this messed up body clock. One is that my afternoon nap turned into sleep into OVER-sleeping yesterday because the power was out amd I had nothing else to do. Add the fact that it was raining and it greatly reduced the things that I can do at that time.

Another thing is a lot has been going on my mind. I may be over thinking on a lot of things that involves my future and it really robs my sleep.

Anyway, while I was writing this I just remembered this Bible verse:

Mat 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

And here I go again hogging all my problems when I have this Father who owns the whole universe and in charge of everything AND willing to take over  whatever I’m burdened.

And with that, time to sleep.

Good Morning, ho hum.

Preferences and A Work in Progress

A few weeks ago I watched a couple of movies titled The Raid: Redemption and The Raid 2. Both of the movies were action-packed and was filled with violently insane stunts and action sequences. The protagonist uses a martial art called “Pencak Silat” and in my opinion it is one of the deadliest martial arts out there.

The Raid: Redemption. Bone-Crunching, Blood Spilling, Face Cringing movie.

The Raid 2. Same caption as the first one but in ALL CAPS

After watching these two movies, or rather, while watching these I just found myself cringing in some of the action sequences as I can hear bones cracking, blood spilling all over the place (and the fights usually occurs on an OCD-clean room which does not help at all) and the characters grimacing in pain. The thing is, I used to like these kinds of scenes. Before, during these sequences, I usually scream in my mind, “OHHH! Come on! Punch him to the nose! You deserve that! Haha! ARRRGH BREAK HIS BONES!!!“.

I guess I am beginning to have a different taste when it comes to movies I want to watch.

Also, I guess I kind of relate this experience into our, or should I say my walk with Christ. Since I began my relationship with Jesus and my journey as a Christian, there have been changes that happened to me, some small, some are big and dramatic. The things removed from my system are the ones that are not pleasing to my Father’s eyes and I began to do things that are according to His will and commands.

That being said, there are still things that I unconsciously or sometimes consciously do that are sinful and makes God do a face palm and say, “Really? Again, Cy?”. It makes me really sad and guilty when these things happen and sometimes I just want to go in a corner and mope and sulk saying “I do not deserve to be called a Christian so I’m just gonna stay here and cry.”

Thankfully I have learned to rely on God’s grace and continuous power in transforming us into becoming more like Christ-like. Through a lot of Bible-reading, prayer and company with friends who share the same faith, I began to realize that making the occasional mistakes does not mean you’re not being a bad Christian. The fact that you realized and repented about it than making excuses and setting it aside is already a fact that there’s progress in you.

With this, I believe that in due time you will be transformed into becoming a better person that has a heart after God’s own, always aiming to please Him and give glory to Him. You’ll be surprised when you see someone do something that is considered as a sin (say, robbing a bank, LOL) and then you’ll realize that you used to do that and even more surprised after realizing that you don’d even do that anymore.

Going back to my movie preferences, I guess I need to reduce my hardcore action movie-watching. I just hope I don’t get completely transformed into becoming a chick-flick lover kind of guy.

No. NO WAY.

 

Key verses

2 Corinthians 3:18

Philippians 1:6

Picture creds:

Here and here

Four Zero Four.

Nope, it’s not a movie title.

404. This number is usually associated with an internet error, which means webpage not found. But today, for me, it has a quite different meaning.

Errerr fer eh fer

 

For 404 days I have been together with Phoebe, my girlfriend and I can’t believe that it has been that long. Wow, so right at this moment I’ve been trying to recall all the things, good and bad, that we have experienced, endured, enjoyed, laughed, talked about and so on and so forth.

For four hundred and four days (I just had to type that one, it’s fun, like a tongue twister!), I began to learn to be more responsible, in everything. I’m not saying that I’m irresponsible before I met her, It’s just that now, I have to be more careful and more sensitive on a lot of things, the way I speak, on how to handle finances, on how to act when I’m with her. Well, actually on the last part, I still goof around when I’m with her which is a big plus because I can’t be serious all the time, I’ll look like a bodyguard who doesn’t know how to smile. Now that she’s my girlfriend, somehow I also represent her, which means whatever I do will also reflect on what kind of a person she is so, you know, being prim and proper sometimes is not so bad.

For one year, one month, one week and one day, I also realized that it’s better to have someone who you can talk to and be your prayer partner who’s not related to you in anyway. I lost count on how many times I ranted about life to her (she does that to me too, mas maraming beses nga lang ata ako), asked prayer on mundane things and complained on superficial wrongdoings by other people. I don’t know about you but it just feels good to have someone who shares the same set of beliefs and who’s willing to listen on the crap you have to tell and makes you feel so important.

I just find it amazing how God can put two human beings, with different backgrounds, coming from different walks of life, with different interests and likes together and love each other. I mean, if it were just us, I don’t know if we’re going to last this long. Maybe we will but it’ll be more of a tumultuous relationship rather than a peaceful and harmonious one.

Don’t get me wrong, we had our share of misunderstandings and arguments but the difference is we have this realization that God, who put us together, also loves us so much that He forgave our sins that we have no choice but to forgive each other’s faults too. Maybe you’re thinking that it’s easy to say, I know it’s hard. It is HARD, but not impossible. While she and I are still sinners, HE was already loving us. Crazy as it may sound; we ought to do the same thing to each other.

Here’s to more 404 days, Mahal.

#GrammarOCD

I’m really not that good in English but when these words are misused, my goodness.

Also, I posted it for my own reference. 🙂

Picture Credit

Wait (Actively)

 

By the time I post this, Valentine’s day is officially over. I guess it’s safe to say that everything will gradually go back to normal.

Now that ‘that day’ is over some of you single peeps will start to swear:

“promise, next Valentines hindi na ako magiging magisa”

Now I am in no way an expert on this as a lot of my friends know how many times I miserably failed on this part of my life. Just when I thought I already know it all when it comes to relationships and “falling in love”, God slams me with a huge amonunt of rebuke, discipline and straightening up.

In all of these, there one of the things I learned is WAIT.

James 5:7-8 (ESV)

Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

Most of us are rushing a lot things, especially when it comes to finding a partner. Whether we admit it or not, at the back of our minds we feel jealous when we see a married couple of even an ordinary bf/gf being sweet with each other. Of course that’s debatable but at least admit that once in our life, we experienced this kind of feeling.

God knows your season. No matter how He seems not involved in your ‘love life’, HE KNOWS. We need to be patient and listen to His voice on what to do next.

Now do we have to stay stagnant and idle while we wait? NO. Maybe He wants us to do something first for Him and while we’re doing our task, that’s the time you’ll meet him/her.

Example? Abraham. God had him do a lot of things first before fulfilling the promises God had told him. 🙂

Genesis 17:1 (NIV)

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty[a]; walk before me faithfully and be blameless.

I am in no way saying that we have to be perfect (if we can then why not? Haha) in order to receive God’s promises. I myself am imperfect and flawed but the thing is I am acknowledging who is in control of my life and surrendering it every time to the Lord.
———————————————————–

So wait actively, God sees and He cares. Who knows, while we’re doing what He has commanded us to do, He will do something that we’ll never dreamed of.

Amos 3:7
“For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.

Valentines Day

Yup, it’s that time of the month again.

I don’t know if you noticed this but every year the hype on Valentines Day goes nowhere but up. It’s being too sensationalized by the mainstream and social media where in fact as far as I can remember during the late 90’s to early 2000’s:

“Hindi naman ganito dati yung hype nung bata ako ah”

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me or probably when I was younger I was not really thinking about those kind of stuff. But now, It’s just that everywhere I go and look people are going above the ‘right amount of crazy’ when it comes to this day.

I get it. Everybody wants and deserves to be loved. I too want and need to be loved. Being loved and loving someone is one of the greatest things that one can have and do in his or her life.

BUT…

If at this moment you do not have a special someone, a wife, a fiance, a boyfriend, girlfriend… Or if you just feel unloved, remember:

1 John 3:16 NIV

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

Jesus loves you. He loves you so much that He was willing to die for you and your sins. He loves you so much that even if you do not deserve it, he still did it. I pray that this Valentines day you will never feel unloved and I hope that this verse will not just be a lame excuse for you because you have no date or a significant other on this day.

Oh and by the way, check out the 2nd part of the verse. If you do not a date then as a suggestion why not try to do some ARK or Act of Random Kindness to other people who need to be loved as well? You can offer your time, give something or if you have an extra, donate some monetary support.

How? Check out this links:

http://www.obphil.com/v2/volunteer

http://www.facebook.com/obphil

Dear 2013

Dear 2013, Kamusta ka na? Sampung araw na rin ang nakalipas simula ng iwan mo ako. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o malulungkot sa pag-alis mo. Pakiramdam ko kasi ang dami kong hindi nagawa, ang dami kong ginawa na hindi ko dapat ginawa.

Sana kung mas naging mahaba ka pa, 2013, siguro kahit hindi lahat at least sana may naiayos ako na mga bagay-bagay at kung mga ano-ano. Ang daming mga pagsisisi, yung mga dapat na pagpapatawad at mga inihingi ko ng tawad, hindi ko nagawa. May mga relationships din na pinutol at masasamang bagay at gawain na nakaugalian na at kailangan na din itigil, at marami pa. Ang dami ko rin mga hinangad noong nandito ka pa. Nandiyan ang bagong ganito, mas maraming pera. Mga plano na hindi nanaman natupad na noon ko pa pina-plano.

Yung  mga ibang bagay na pinagdarasal ko, yung pagiging mas-involved sa church, yung pagkakaron ng sariling Victory Group, yung pagkakaron ng mas magandang schedule sa trabaho para naman kahit paano makasama ako sa pagtulong sa kapwa ko, wala din. Hindi ko ba alam kung bakit ako sa may panget na schedule nailagay. Ang pinakanakakalungkot pakiramdam ko medyo lumayo o tumabang ang relasyon ko sa Panginoon.

—

Pero wala eh, ang bilis mo umalis. Walang anu-ano bigla na lang nandiyan an si 2014. Ngayon wala akong choice kundi siya naman pakisamahan ko.

—

Pero alam mo 2013, mabuti pa rin talaga ang Lord. Akalain mo nung nandito ka nagkaron ako ng girlfriend (na sobrang ganda at talino at napaka-intimate ng relasyon sa Panginoon). Mga ilang linggo bago ka umalis, nakabili ako ng laptop (Lia nga pala ang pangalan niya). Ang galing nga kasi halos itigil ko na yung pagdarasal dun pero ayun naibigay pa rin ng Lord sa pamamagitan ng grace Niya na binigay sakin para makapagtrabaho ng mabuti.

Isa pa, noong nandito ka feeling ko mas naging disiplinado ako lalong-lalo na sa pera kasi nga nagiipon ako para sa laptop. Ngayon may mga natanggal ako na pagkain na masarap nga pero mamahalin dahil sa disiplina at determination. Natuto na rin akong magexercise ng kahit pakonti-konti. Maliliit na bagay man yan pero ang laki ng pasasalamat ko sa Lord dahil diyan.

Ngayon, nandito na si 2014. So far okay naman siya. As usual, nagsimula ang taon as usual sa corporate prayer and fasting ng church namin. Buti na lang talaga kahit medyo masama ang pakiramdam ko nagpunta pa rin ako sa last day ng prayer and fasting.

Ephesians 6:17

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Um! Mismo. Sa pamamagitan ng isang verse sa Bible parang medyo na-summarize na all in all kung bakit nangyari yung mga mishapsssss ko. My sword of the Spirit became dull and rusty.

I admit there are times that I really forget to open my Bible, minsan pa nga I chose not to. I admit and confess it but I am not proud of it, 2013.

Now I know what to do and pray for. Now that 2014 is here, it’s time to really bring back that conviction and excitement in learning the word of God. Ibang klase din ang mercy and kindness ni Lord. He could have just left me out to dry and hayaan niya na lang ako bumalik sa mga old ways ko.

Hanggang ngayon, Lord. I am Yours and will continually be Yours. Hindi lang yun, I’ll act like I am Yours.

Naisip ko bigla yung I am Yours, 2013, then I was reminded of this verse.

Psalm 73:21-28

21When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

So in the end 2013, I guess masaya ako at umalis ka na. Kasi now with 2014, I can start anew.  A year with a closer and more intimate relationship with the Lord. 🙂

 

Identity / Security

This topic has been nagging me for several months now but due to laziness and other things, it’s only now that I am able to lay this entry down.

In a fast-paced and dynamic society that we presently live in, it is not unusual for people to find themselves something or someone they can identify with. Be it a celebrity or an inanimate object, we usually feel good if we find something or someone that we can identify with.

The issue is this: I’m quite certain that almost all people know that there is nothing permanent in this world and yet, people try so so hard to find their identity and security on these non-permanent things:

School:

In the last UAAP Cheerdance Competition, a lot of people were expecting that this certain university will bag the first place. Almost everyone was saying that it will almost be a no contest because this university has already won several times and they were not seeing any threats from other institutions.

Then BAM. They lost.

The same thing goes for the basketball teams and their fans who shout their lungs out during the matches. Students even lash each other out on social networking sites, talking trash and making an excuse that it is called school pride. Sure, school pride is good but why do students get disappointed, depressed or angry for a few weeks if their team loses as if they have put their hope and future on their school alone? Maybe you’re saying that I’m just bitter or jealous that I came from a poor-and-almost-inadequate state college that’s why I’m able to say this and that I don’t know anything.

Well, maybe. 😉

Maybe they lacked practice. Maybe they were under a lot of pressure. There can really be no concrete answer. But the example I gave just shows that you can never, be it a person or an institution really remain on top of the pedestal. Once your on the top the pressure will you eat you to remain on the top.

Gadgets and Tech:

Guilty as charged.

Samsung, Apple, LG, Sony, Cherry Mob.. Hmm.

These are some of the tech companies that are on a constant race on who will release “The Next Big Thing”. Almost on a monthly basis they release new gadgets like mobile phones, flat TV’s, etc. that make our lives a lot easier. People nowadays try their best to be in the trend with the latest gadgets, as if they see their worth based on the mobile phone that they have.

You’re considered as Mr. Awesome if you have an Apple Xperia Galaxy G II Phone. (Wait, what?)

Just so you know, I love technology. I’ve been praying for a decent laptop for an N number of years now but I still don’t have it (Update: I got it!). I’ve been drooling over a phone that has touch-less control that can make a call without even touching it. It’s not available in the Philippines, but be it available, I will not be able to afford it.

Yes, aside from point #1, people (including myself) identify themselves based on the technology that they have on their homes or at the palm of their hands. Once again, this is not bad at all. Given a choice, I too will love to have something that will make my life a lot easier, like checking on Facebook without going to a computer shop. But the thing is we rely too much in it. We forget how to interact in an old-fashioned way, people lose sleep because they just cannot tapping that refresh button to see if their friends have updated their statuses, if your favorite celebrity tweeted something interesting.

Occupation/Profession

“Greener Pastures”

These two words have become so common during job interviews especially in BPO’s. Young professionals (again, including myself) hop from one job into another searching for better offers, salary and benefits. I used to work for an NGO and now I am working in one of the, let me say BPO’s with a good reputation. It’s pretty obvious that what I have been receiving when I was working in an NGO is nothing compared to what I am receiving now. I mean it should not even be compared.

Here are some questions though:

Is your job going to secure you in the future?

Does hopping from one occupation to another will make you contented?

Are you even sure that given your company’s stability, will it never ever close and become bankrupt?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I only named 3 but there are still a lot of things and factors out there that people chase desperately just find their identity and security. Sadly most of their lives end without coming even close to it. As a Christian, here’s something I realized:

Philippians 3:8 (New International Version)
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you should be detached to the modern world unless you want to be a caveman. What I am trying to point out is that we must make it a point to find our identity in The One who created us. We should find our security to The One who despite our sin and flaws chose to save us. Whatever this world has to give, however enticing, is nothing and will never come close to the identity and security that Christ has given us when he died on that cross.

Psalm 62:1-2
1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

 

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Obedience Begets Blessings

James 1:25

But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Genesis 22:18

“and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”

—

Lately I have carried these two verses about obedience to God and the rewards in doing so in my heart. These 2 verses that literally changed the season that I am in right now. I gotta tell you, it feels awesome.

I’ve been a Christian for a while now, for almost 7 years to be exact. In all those years there have been lots of compromises and struggles that I encountered, most of them I put myself into. I primarily know the essence of obeying God’s commands and the benefits of it, but the thing the ways of the world always won me over. That’s right, I admit it but not proud of it.

 

Where are the blessings?

I already said earlier, I’ve been a Christian for quite a while now. A ‘follower’ of Christ. I can also say that I have a personal relationship with him. But here’s the catch: I have a lot of things that I’ve been praying for. Things that are not necessarily for me but for other people. Still, God seems to be quiet in my prayers.

So I asked: “God, what’s going on?”

 

Compromises

Little did I know one of the primary reasons that I have not received any answers to my prayers is because of the one thing that I believe it’s not just my struggle. Sometimes you have been Christians for so long that we feel that:

– It’s ‘okay’ to do this. God will understand.

– It’s ‘okay’ if I do this once, it doesn’t mean that I’ll stray away from God’s will.

– It’s ‘okay’ to this once, I’m already feeling impatient and I think doing this will make God realize that this blessing is really for me. (Really now)

** Newsflash. It’s not okay. It never was and it never will.**

God has a different way of giving us our blessings. He loves and is very eager to bless us but the issue is how are we going to fully enjoy God’s blessings if we do it in our way. The bible clearly states in Matthew 6:33 to seek first HIS KINGDOM, but stubborn as we are, there are a lot of times that we seek it last, after we have exhausted all of our ways to get what we need or want. Do you think that God will still bless us after we have done this? Yeah sure, but I feel that there will be a lot of pruning that needs to be done (John 15)

Well as for me, failed relationships, lying about it to other people and doing things my own way are just one of the few ‘compromises’ that I have done. Take note, I was already a Christian when I did this and it really left me spiritually drained.

 

Obedience is Key

We are created to have rational thinking, to be practical and to have our own free will. These things are good but there are just times these ‘human qualities’ get the best of us. We tend to think that that because of these we are better off alone and we can do better.

Nope, we don’t. In 1 Corinthians 1:25 it says that God’s foolishness is wiser than men (even wiser than the wisest of men, let’s say Einstein, Socrates, Plato or Darwin).

God created us to be like Him, but we can never be HIM meaning we will always be susceptible to straying away from Him. To prevent this, obeying His word is a must and in turn, blessings after blessings will pour out in our lives, in every aspect of it. (Again, check John 15 and the 2 verses above). I know I did and God did bless me.

 

PS: I know it’s hard.

I know, no doubt about it. It’s hard especially since we are still living in the world. Now, don’t be discouraged if once or twice (or even 49076210958263 times, but lets not get to that point, haha)  if you fail unintentionally or even intentionally to obey God’s commands.

There’s Grace, through His Son who died for us. And with this kind of grace, obeying God the father will be a lot easier. (Ephesians 2:8-9)